Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.
Husband: What’s up?
Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid…
Husband: Well you don’t remember, do you? When we were leaving the hospital, you noticed that our baby had pooped. You said, “Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here.” So I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there.
Moral: Never give a man a job for which he is not qualified.